Throughout your active days of addiction you may have been obstinate—you had all the answers. There was no way you wanted to hear you had a problem with drugs and or alcohol. In the course of your recovery from an addiction you may find it beneficial to see a therapist. You now understand you have an addiction, but you may not be in touch with all that’s going on with you. Perhaps after meeting with your therapist for awhile, you learn you have a dual diagnosis. You don’t want to hear it.
Your therapist isn’t going to come out and tell you that you better shape up. He or she isn’t going to tell you to stop whining and get on with your life, either. Your therapist could ask you questions that you don’t want to answer, because you don’t want to acknowledge what you know to be true. Everyone has demons whether they have abused substances or not. A mother yells at her kid in the grocery store. She’s reached her threshold of tolerance and she feels ashamed about it. A man gawks and whistles at a woman walking by. He thinks he’s being funny. He has no idea how his behavior affects the woman.
At some point in your recovery, or by digging things out in therapy, you may realize how out of touch you’ve been. You don’t really want to hear it. A friend reminds you of the time you passed out at lunch, your nose practically in the pea soup bowl spiked with sherry. You don’t want to hear it, but what else is there to do? Avoiding truths about yourself, however painful, isn’t going to make them go away.
Shame can be attached to the things you don’t want to hear. Here’s the thing, though; when you accept the things you’ve done or not done, let them breathe in the air, acknowledge the part that addiction played in your behavior and still plays on, you can begin to heal. Remember the scene in Good Will Hunting in which the therapist (Robin Williams) tells his client (Matt Damon) that it isn’t his fault, and the character played by Matt Damon starts to cry? That’s it, that’s getting to the pain of truth and opening up to healing.
Serenity Oaks Wellness Center is a 5-week extensive treatment program to help someone who is struggling from drugs or alcohol. Our 12-Step aspects and holistic therapy combined can show you how to adorn your soul in recovery.
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