The word victim is used here not to label or devalue a person, but to help them understand what victimhood is, and what he or she can do about it. An individual with a victim identity is someone who identified with whatever crises, traumas, illnesses or other difficulties that occurred in their lives. Many of these experiences began very early in life as a means towards survival.
As life moved forward, they kept their victim identity. The psychological reasoning behind this kind of response to life is based on the past. I’d better just not keep my hopes and dreams up and realize life is a long struggle. Whatever I come up against, I will always lose. When reality strikes, and things don’t go the way the person hopes, they can be devastated. They think it’s better to just expect disappoint and accept that they are a victim.
A perpetual victim embraces a belief system. I can’t trust anyone. It’s always my fault. Life is too hard. If I try, I won’t make it. No one understands me. I’m always last. Nothing goes my way. Other people have more money, they are smarter. I never had their advantages.
What these belief systems do is keep or protect the victim from ever having to really engage life on life’s terms. To do so, it just too risky. People think I cop out all the time, but if they came from where I did, that would be another story!
People caught in victimhood may not be able to comprehend their attitude towards life. They may not realize it is their responsibility to create joy in their life. They may not understand everyone has hard times. Sure, they may check out for a while to grieve or heal from a big disappointment, but eventually pick themselves up and carry on with their lives.
The following are a few tips to help one shed their victim role. Stop blaming others for what happens or doesn’t happen. Take action instead of reacting. Be compassionate with yourself. Practice gratitude. Perform acts of kindness. Take a confidence building class. Think your plans through carefully to avoid self sabotaging events. Find a therapist to help you find the source of your negative beliefs.
Serenity Oaks provides an intensive 5 week program to support your sobriety and recovery from addiction. We provide medical support, detox, and other help such as building life skills. Through individualized programs we help you move forward in recovery. Call us to find out how we can help you get started: 844-396-8526.