Getting into a relationship in the first year of recovery is typically frowned upon. There are so many changes going on in your life that a relationship can distract you from recovery. Addiction usually stunts a person emotionally causing their maturity level to possibly be the same age as when they started drinking and using, which can create unnecessary emotional turmoil.
Being in a relationship is a big decision to make in early sobriety especially since the success rate is very low. Trying to figure out if they are “the one” should be carefully considered to prevent triggers that could lead to a relapse.
Have you run the idea through your sponsor, therapist or mentor?
You may feel better because you are sober, but that does not mean that you are emotionally, physically, or spiritually ready to take on everything that encompasses a relationship. Trusting somebody else’s instincts in early sobriety is a good idea especially if they have the best intentions for your recovery.
Have you done the Steps or therapy work?
If you just got sober and have not done any recovery work yet, you will be the same person in a relationship as when you were abusing substances. Trust the process that recovery has to offer in personal growth so that you can break the cycle of your past mistakes in relationships. The steps and therapy work will you give an opportunity to look at the patterns that were keeping you from having successful relationships in the first place.
How well do you know the other person?
Getting to know somebody before you jump into a relationship is important and may be something that you did not wait for in the past. Learning about their morals and the things that they believe in can help you decide to whether this person is somebody that is worth taking the risks of having a relationship in early sobriety with. You should inquire if they have a sponsor and if they have started step work if they are in recovery. If they are a “normie”, then making sure they are supportive of your recovery journey is crucial.
What is the rush?
Addicts are known to push instant gratification to the limit. Trying to take things slowly can give the relationship more time to cultivate in getting to know one another and becoming friends first. If anybody is trying to rush you into something that you are not ready for, it is okay to set a boundary that is going to be best for your recovery.
There is somebody out there for everybody, but doing in the timeframe that is good for your recovery is the most important aspect. You were not meant to be alone, but you should be with somebody that will grow with you and support your ongoing in your recovery.
You deserve to be ADORNED in your recovery. Life skills, coping tools, education, holistic healing, and a sober support system will help you gain long term sobriety. Serenity Oaks Wellness Center offers a comprehensive treatment program for recovering from drug and alcohol addiction. Call us today for information: 844-720-6847