There are no rules for sitting with grief. When it comes to dealing with your own grief, everyday may present a different emotion. Your feelings could also stay the same for weeks. Some days, you might find your grief in recovery to be intolerable. It seems you’ve lost decades to an addiction. These decades consumed precious time with your children, your spouse and your friends. You lost job after job. Now, here you are in a rehab feeling despondent. What to do?
Even though your grief may feel intolerable, try to stay with it. Maybe that’s all you can do, though some people prefer to distract themselves. Staying with your grief is about letting yourself feel its enormity, rather than running away from it. By staying with your grief, you may come to a place of acceptance. Telling your story to others, whether formally at a meeting, or individually is important for healing. The more you tell your story and stay with your grief, the more it can move through you.
Perhaps you know someone who lost a loved one to addiction and never got over it. Not that one ever gets over such a profound loss, but the energy surrounding the grief can shift. Those who hold onto grief may become bitter and unhappy people. They don’t do it intentionally, and, it’s important for those who know them to encourage them to seek counselling.
Staying with grief doesn’t dictate wallowing in it. Rather it’s about staying present to it whether walking on the beach or having a cup of coffee. Staying with grief is an essential part of healing. It can be extremely intense, and that intensity can later turn into a soft ache. Once you experience grief to its fullest you can come more easily to acceptance.
Yes, the past is the past, and the future can still have happiness. Yes, moving through and on from grief takes time, and everyone has different time frames. Now that’s you’re in recovery, you’re not alone. You have people beside you and many who love and care for you.
Serenity Oaks Wellness Center is a 5-week extensive treatment program to help someone who is struggling from drugs or alcohol. Our 12-Step aspects and holistic therapy combined can show you how to adorn your soul in recovery.
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