Forgiving yourself is part of recovery. Learning to forgive yourself, like recovery, is a process. All sorts of things like shame and guilt can get muddled in the process. You may not know which one you’re feeling at any given time. Some want all the awful feelings to go away, and others cling to them. The latter do so perhaps because they can’t forgive themselves. They consistently impose pain on themselves because they think they deserve it—look what I’ve done!
Whatever you did during active addiction, you did so under the influence of alcohol or drugs. This doesn’t mean you’re not responsible, but it does mean there were other factors involved. If the substance wasn’t there, would you have done or not done the thing for which you can’t forgive yourself?
Certain deeds loom much larger in your conscious mind than others. To say you weren’t in your right mind while you were drinking or taking drugs is probably true, but still, how can you forgive yourself? I’ll never forgive myself for what I did… Forgiving yourself is one of the bravest things you can do in recovery. Give that some thought.
In order to forgive yourself you must learn to trust yourself. I am not the person I was when I was active in the addiction. Coming to terms with this last statement is an act of trust. I can now trust myself to do the right thing. Deep down inside I believe I am a good person. If believing you are a good person is too difficult, you might consider seeking the help of a therapist. Your therapist can help you explore the beliefs you have about yourself, and sort them out. Which beliefs are true? Which feel true based upon experiences throughout your life?
The past is the past. Make a clear intention to live in the present. What are your morals now that you are sober? You are on a new path, so give yourself the precious time you need to heal. Then you can consider the option of making amends to the person or persons you hurt. When you make amends, you are doing the best that you can with your situation. Amends can backfire, but they can also provide relief. If you can’t forgive yourself, then make a commitment to be gentle with on yourself. You are a good person and you deserve to live in the present!
Serenity Oaks Wellness Center is a 5-week extensive treatment program to help someone who is struggling from drugs or alcohol. Our 12-Step aspects and holistic therapy combined can show you how to adorn your soul in recovery.
Call us today: 844-720-6847