Codependency can impede your recovery because of its innate symptoms of insecurity, denial, control, and manipulation. More signs of codependency include: attracted to needy people, feel angry, victimized, unappreciated and used; come from troubled, repressed, or dysfunctional families; blame yourself for everything, and reject compliments or praise.
If you are in recovery and your spouse is codependent, he or she could place a lot of pressure on you in order to maintain control over your care. Because codependents often feel undervalued and unworthy of love, they can try to manipulate you. For example, they could get jealous of all the time you spend going to meetings, and subsequently ask you stay home to be with them. This won’t constitute a healthy environment for your recovery.
If you are in recovery and are codependent, you could try to please your spouse by staying home to keep him or her company. Giving into someone else’s needs in early sobriety can lead to a slip and maybe even a relapse.
You might be the alcoholic, and your spouse the codependent, and, both of you need help. The codependent needs therapy just as much as the person addicted to alcohol. A codependent lives through others. They look beyond themselves for the answers in life. Therapy can help them see and understand why they give little thought to themselves and their well-being, and why they always put others first.
Codependents are apt to remain in stressful situations, which can make them feel important. Their disregard for what is the necessary action to take can result in further mental illness such as social anxiety and depression. Codependents can suffer physical ailments like ulcers, high blood pressure, headaches, respiratory issues and heart problems. What they think is good, like fixing other people’s problems, doing things they don’t really want to do, doing more than their fair share of the work, can cause feelings of victimization, anger and enormous stress.
Realizing you are codependent can be very painful. All the good you told yourself you were doing may have been annoying to someone else and detrimental to you. Take heed. There are reasons for your codependency. There are excellent therapists who can help you begin to heal. They know rights from the start that you were simply doing the best that you could given your personal experiences.
Serenity Oaks Wellness Center is a 5-week extensive treatment program to help someone who is struggling from drugs or alcohol. Our 12-Step aspects and holistic therapy combined can show you how to adorn your soul in recovery.
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