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How do I Overcome Shame and Guilt at Family Gatherings?

Jan 11, 2018 | QA, Relationships

Addicts are notorious for doing anything in their power to get what they need to keep doing what they are doing. This will make them do certain things that they could not fathom doing while they were sober. When addicts need to relieve the obsession that develops in their brains from drugs and alcohol, it takes what it takes. They usually do not care who they hurt in the process. An addicted person will most likely choose their addiction over even their basic needs of food, water, and sleep. As a result of the addiction behaviors, shame and guilt will surface.

Guilt can be felt with a cue of knowing that you are about to do something that you should not. The part of your conscious that will warn you about right from wrong is guilt. You will feel like a terrible person when guilt manifests itself through shame. Shame will show up when you have followed through with an activity that you knew was a wrong choice.  

Your addiction can make you stay away from family gatherings because you may be embarrassed by your actions. Overcoming shame and guilt can serve as an important purpose that will help you feel like you belong there.


  • Identify what you have done.


When you can take the to time to admit the things that are causing you shame and guilt, you are really making a breakthrough with the things that are holding you back.


  • Make amends where you can.


Once you recognize the faults that cause shame and guilt, use this opportunity to right your wrongs. Take the initiative to make amends to those that you have hurt. This does not mean apologizing because you have probably apologized too many times already without changing what you are apologizing for. Making amends shows that you are willing to change the behavior that was hurtful.


  • Change your ways.


Learning from your mistakes by making reparations can put you on the path to adjusting your sails. If you do something different in your behavior, shame and guilt can eventually go away because you will no longer be the person that did the things in your past.

Once you take full responsibility and start switching to more favorable behaviors, family members can hopefully believe in the shift that you are making in your life. Taking on this challenge may seem daunting at first, but once you feel the renewal process working, you can enjoy your family gatherings without having to worry about the past.

Serenity Oaks Wellness Center is 5-week addiction treatment where our qualified staff is instrumental in helping a loved one who has become addicted to drugs and alcohol start their plan of recovery. Every plan is uniquely customized to help them accomplish their long-term sobriety. Call us today: 844-720-6847

Get Started at Serenity Oaks

At Serenity Oaks Wellness Center, we offer residential detox and addiction treatment with a wide range of modalities to address the needs of all our clients. Our high staff-to-client ratio ensures everyone that enters our facility gets the personal attention they need and deserve for a safe and successful detox process. To learn more about our program, contact Serenity Oaks Wellness Center today at 844-720-6847.
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