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How Can I Tell if Someone is Deceiving Me About Being Sober?

Anticipating that someone remains sober is the hope of recovery. People relapse or choose to continue down the path of addiction regardless of knowing what will happen to them. Others say they have stopped drinking, but take dirty chips in a 12-Step program because they continue to drink in between meetings.

Whatever the situation may be, the most difficult part to digest is the fact that the person that you are dealing with is trying to bamboozle you with their dishonest tactics in sobriety. Slurring, smelling of booze, or acting irrational are sure signs that someone is intoxicated. Some people can hid being under the influence fairly well and so it becomes a touchy subject to dicker with. Unless you can prove the deception first hand, you are out luck and may open a can worms to cause a whole bunch of unnecessary problems.

In the mindset of rigorous honesty and compassion, you can ask somebody if you are concerned about them misusing mind-altering substances and offer help when they need it, but it is probably best to not accuse anyone of relapse unless you have physically seen them with your own eyes use drugs or drink. Somebody with real sobriety can be insulted by false accusations and ask themselves, “Why should I stay sober if nobody else believes me anyway?” Embarrassing someone’s valiant efforts to stay sober should be avoided at all costs because it can discourage their willingness to kick the habit.

Calling them out on the table may not be your business in the first place especially since you may merely be going off of the instinct of “it takes one to know one”. If you are working on recovery yourself, you may get an inclining or a red flag about someone’s behavior. This sixth sense of sobriety may allow you to recognize the behaviors that may make you believe that you are looking into a mirror of the past. The best thing you can do for them is to be supportive or rely on the power of prayer to change their fraudulent activity.  

One of the problems of being around someone that is trying to dupe you when they are lying about their sobriety is that you might be putting yourself in a position to bring about your own cravings. You should separate yourself immediately to prevent triggers from surfacing because protecting your sobriety must be your number one priority.

Having someone deceive you with their sobriety is an unfortunate situation to be in and hard to prove, unless they are willing to tell the truth. Your best bet is to move on until they are ready for real, honest help.


You deserve to be ADORNED in your recovery. Life skills, coping tools, education, holistic healing, and a sober support system will help you gain long term sobriety. Serenity Oaks Wellness Center offers a comprehensive treatment program for recovering from drug and alcohol addiction. Call us today for information: 844-720-6847

Get Started at Serenity Oaks

At Serenity Oaks Wellness Center, we offer residential detox and addiction treatment with a wide range of modalities to address the needs of all our clients. Our high staff-to-client ratio ensures everyone that enters our facility gets the personal attention they need and deserve for a safe and successful detox process. To learn more about our program, contact Serenity Oaks Wellness Center today at 844-720-6847.
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