One of the forgotten aspects that we might have missed out on during our addiction is the ability to feel true love. Not necessarily with a spouse or a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but with any loved one that we have in our lives. We may think that blood automatically gives unconditional love, but we are hard to love while we are participating in the throes of addiction. Once we become sober and try to make amends to those we have harmed during the days of drugs and alcohol, there could be many a day of wondering whether or not we are suited to be loved.
Everyone is befitting to be loved regardless of addiction or no addiction. The problem is that it is difficult, almost impossible, to love someone when it is clear that they certainly do not love themselves. While loving one’s self seems appropriate, learning to do just that in our sobriety can present a consternated situation because of the nefarious acts that we committed in our addiction. We must face our darkest moments head on to get past the shame and guilt that we feel in recovery.
We may be searching for romantic love to overcome the loneliness that we may feel and to obtain the love we believe we are entitled to. To look for romance is out of sequence to learning to love ourselves. We must first let the people who support us, love us until we can find love within to love ourselves. Typically, wethat struggle with addiction to drugs and alcohol, do not like to ask for help in any capacity. We must learn to take help where we should to process and work through the issues that are holding us back from loving ourselves and loving others in love’s purest form. Once that happens in recovery, the one that completes us romantically just might finally show up for us.
Learning how to truly love comes from staying sober by connecting spiritually to a Higher Power, being of service to our fellow man, and getting involved in a 12-Step program to find support and solace. Relationships take work and with the guidance of like-minded people, love can be achieved in numerous ways, even romantically when the time is right. If we must force love or make relationships the way we think they should be, then we probably have another area in our recovery that needs to be resolved.
Serenity Oaks Wellness Center thrives on our love for people who are struggling with drugs and alcohol. Our holistic therapy and 12-Step aspects together can help our clients to achieve long-term sobriety.
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