You know about tolerance, but that person at the rehab is nonetheless driving you crazy. We all come across annoying people either at our workplace, at the recycling center, in the classroom, group therapy or the town meeting. They carry on and on about the matter at hand with little regard for anyone else who might have something important to contribute.
You secretly want to interrupt the annoying person and tell them to shut up, but of course you don’t. Being polite was hammered into you by your mother and father. When subjected to an unconscious person, you can use the experience for your benefit. First of all, practice patience. What are you gaining with your irritation? For one, it’s probably upping your stress level. For another, are you letting the inclinations of another wreck your perspective or mood?
In addition to practicing patience, you can always work on your self confidence by confronting the annoying person. The polite person in you doesn’t want to confront the person because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Ask yourself why you are letting another control, or run amuck over your space, time and convenience? What are you afraid of? It could be that you are afraid of using your voice. It could be that you are used to taking the proverbial backseat.
Your first wanted to tell them to shut up, but of course that wouldn’t be effective. Why not take a chance and tell them how you feel? I sense that you have a lot to say in group, Jane, but I feel uncared for when you don’t let me have a chance to speak myself. Using “I” statements can eliminate the chance for Jane to become defensive. Using “I” statements is about telling the truth, putting the emphasis on your feelings, not Jane’s.
Jane might not even realize she talks incessantly. By speaking up, you are giving her a gift in a gentle and direct manner. The truth often hurts. With that in mind, ask yourself what is it about Jane’s behavior that might resemble your own? Jane, the most annoying person at the rehab, might turn into your best companion and your teacher!
“In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”—Dalai Lama
Serenity Oaks provides an intensive 5 week program to support your sobriety and recovery from addiction. We provide medical support, detox, and other help such as building life skills. Through individualized programs we help you move forward in recovery. Call us to find out how we can help you get started: 844-396-8526.