Love is one those things that we are taught to sense early on. From the moment we are born, some of us felt the unconditional love that only a parent can feel for their child. Some of us, however, felt neglected from the first moment that we could even remember. We honestly did not know that what we were actually feeling was undervalued. We did not have a word for it because it was just part of our “normal” everyday situation since our parents were overwhelmed with life doing the best that they could.
Having gone through that as a child, it makes us latch onto people in desperate need of attention, nurture, and human touch. All the things that we look for with a parent’s approval is what we seek for when we are constantly looking “the one”. We that are addicted to love are in constant search of what we feel like we have been jipped out of for our whole lives. Searching for love in all the wrong places becomes the mundane routine for our lives. Constantly striking out because the person is not actually “the one”, but the “the one that makes us feel good right now”.
There is nothing wrong with us. We just need to process the feelings of what we consider to be love just so we can see what they really are. What we perceive to be love, most likely may really be something else only masquerading as love.
- We use serial dating or the constant need to be in a relationship to dodge abandonment issues that need to be resolved. When a breakup occurs, the rejection that we feel almost mimics that of being separated from a parent or a caregiver.
- We use relationships to cope with ongoing concerns of anxiety, depression, or any other feelings that we are trying to avoid altogether. Instead of dealing with our issues head on, we distract ourselves with unhealthy relationships to bid our time.
- We will stay in negative relationships even though we feel unworthy or exhibit low self-esteem in hopes of being loved. Instead of being alone, being in a tumultuous relationship can fill the void that we only assume is love.
Getting help with our love addiction can give us the security that we need to feel in our lives, as well as our relationships. Getting help with a therapist that specializes in love or sex addiction can be instrumental in helping us get a hold of our relationship dysfunctions that will may stem back to our family of origin. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) is a great organization to get the support that we need to help us with our addictions.
Serenity Oaks Wellness Center is a treatment program that is well-versed in addiction to help those who are struggling with drugs and alcohol to get sober. Our holistic therapy and 12-Step aspects can give someone a chance for a new life in recovery.
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