If you are the one saying this, we hear you. If you are new to sobriety, try to understand that your first priority isn’t romantic love. It is of course staying sober, changing your behaviors and attitudes and learning about yourself. If you are not speaking of romantic love, but love in general, the answer is the same, but requires a little bit more information.
Feeling unloved is awful. Perhaps this is the reason you have an addict for which your are in recovery. If this is the case, it’s a good idea for you to find therapeutic help. You may have behaviors, of which you are unaware, that push people away. You may also have people who love you, but haven’t had the patience or been able to move through the barrier you have around yourself.
People put up barriers because they have a misconception about themselves. They may suffer from low self esteem. They could have trust issues, and put up walls to keep people from getting too close. Emotional walls, however aren’t discerning—they keep everyone at bay, even family members.
Barriers not only keep people away, but they can give off other impressions, like she’s a snob, or he’s such an old grouch. In truth, you might be a hurting puppy and just not know how to help yourself. Someone, one who possibly who wants to be your friend, may see wonderful qualities in you, that you don’t. They want to be your friend, but you keep refusing to have that cup of coffee with them.
Self love is a big key to receiving love. If you are always saying disparaging things about yourself, then you may be thought of as Debbie or Donald Downer. However, if you exhibit a natural and genuine air about yourself, people will be able to approach you more easily. Smiling helps, as does faking it until you make it.
Love is everywhere, and it’s important not only to receive love, but to give it as well. If you are always looking for love and not giving it, then you’re walking on a one-way street. Your therapist can help you find what caused you to keep people away, while at the same time helping you learn strategies for bringing more love and joy into your life. Fellowship programs, in general, are good places for you to open up and let people see who you really are.
Serenity Oaks Wellness Center is a 5-week extensive treatment program to help someone who is struggling from drugs or alcohol. Our 12-Step aspects and holistic therapy combined can show you how to adorn your soul in recovery.
Call us today: 844-720-6847