People often wonder what the true meaning of being codependent is and then start to question if they are codependent in their personal relationships. Although the term codependent is a very broad term, there are many people that come from a dysfunctional family who tend to unknowingly carry that torch of dysfunction into their own relationships. Codependency is considered an emotional and behavioral condition that sabotages someone from having a healthy relationship. Known as a relationship addiction, codependency often causes a person to seek relationships that are one-sided, emotionally harmful, or abusive while relying on that person to meet their needs or boost their self-esteem.
Someone’s quality of life can be affected depending on how severe their codependency is. Most people display signs here and there of codependency, but there are those who take codependency to a whole other level.
People pleasing
Instead of staying “no”, you will say “yes” to everything in lieu of confrontation. You will sacrifice what your needs are to accommodate everyone else’s needs first. The only way you feel comfortable is to have everyone else taken care of while you secretly resent having to do everything for everyone.
No boundaries
You know logically everyone has boundaries except for you. There is no problem for you to adhere to everyone else’s boundaries even though you are unable to set your own. Having people walk all over you is normal and you see nothing wrong with that.
Enabling
Empathy or sympathy is a normal humanistic trait that makes you want to help someone. Your codependency will push this empathy or sympathy to the extent that a person you are caring for will no longer need to take care of themselves. Most likely, you either fear for their safety or think that they will not take care of themselves up to your standards. You will start doing everything for them strictly for control purposes or for your own “sanity”.
Dependency
Being loved is extremely important to you, in fact you need to feel okay with yourself. You do not like being alone and will stay with someone that mistreats you to avoid being rejected or abandoned. Ending a relationship is out of the question even if you feel trapped because you cannot fathom living without them.
If you are exhibiting any of these behaviors, there is help that can be found for codependency. Finding a suitable 12-Step program or going to therapy can give you the guidance and support that you need.
If you or someone you know is struggling with drugs and alcohol, Serenity Oaks Wellness Center can be the solution that you need in sobriety. Our holistic therapy and 12-Step aspects together can show you how to adorn your soul in recovery.
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